FALLING APART !

I'm falling to pieces here My Dear,
I'm losing my mind without you near,
I'm having trouble breathing in this air full of sadness,
I'm desperately looking for cure to my madness.

Ever since you've gone away,
This deep pain grows in me day after day,
It tears my heart apart and messes with my head,
Why did it have to end like that?

Now there is only sound of silence around me,
No warm arms to comfort me,
No whispers in my ear to say "I love You",
No other body to hold on to.

Days will go by, weeks, even months,
It will be hard to calm my heart that still longs,
Longs for all the good you had in you,
And all the soul food you served for two.

In words of George Michael we both still adore,
There are no other words than his I could use more.

S K I N T is the word.

Loads of people get in trouble financially one time in their life or the other. Unfortunately so did I. Many bad decisions I had made over the last few years have my debts piled up way too high. Now being alone is even harder to get this sorted. Yes they say money doesn't buy you happiness and that money is the root of all evil but.......

I have tried to get another job over Xmas but just got an email that I was unsuccessful, which kind of makes me deflated and running out of options.

On top of that my body is in a whirlwind and not working as it should be, so maybe another job is not a good idea after all.

I know, I need a day or two to think things over, try to relax and maybe on Monday start with clear head. Who knows maybe Lotto will help over the weekend?

Right you can always dream about it and hope all of a sudden things will turn around for you.

For now a drum or two or three of the Scottish water of life should keep the mind of all things evil.

Holidays, Shmolidays.

New Year, they say, new you, they say. Hell if it only was that easy to turn the clock and wake up in new, better world. Well it isn't like that and you know it.  

Keep fighting they say, love yourself, don't ever give up. One minute you think you can face the world and do anything and the next you don't know what to do to make the pain go away. It kills you inside, the emptiness, lack of that feeling of another human being close by, someone who will listen to you complaining, crying and minute later hugging and kissing you and making everything better. If only Agent J from Men in Black could use his neuralizer on me and erase all the bad things.

Even better, get me a Delorean and send me back to 2006 or few years later, when everything seemed to be so good.

It's gonna be a fecking struggle to get back on my feet especially with me being so impatient and wanting everything to get better overnight.  Well it could get better overnight by winning the freakin lotto. Yeah I know the old saying, but....

Yes I want that freedom to find my happiness again, may it be alone or with someone right by my side. Get me some Vitamin H, get me the Happy pill or the iron supplement.

Enough moaning, go to bed and dream about the way things may be and will be.