FALLING APART !

I'm falling to pieces here My Dear,
I'm losing my mind without you near,
I'm having trouble breathing in this air full of sadness,
I'm desperately looking for cure to my madness.

Ever since you've gone away,
This deep pain grows in me day after day,
It tears my heart apart and messes with my head,
Why did it have to end like that?

Now there is only sound of silence around me,
No warm arms to comfort me,
No whispers in my ear to say "I love You",
No other body to hold on to.

Days will go by, weeks, even months,
It will be hard to calm my heart that still longs,
Longs for all the good you had in you,
And all the soul food you served for two.

In words of George Michael we both still adore,
There are no other words than his I could use more.

S K I N T is the word.

Loads of people get in trouble financially one time in their life or the other. Unfortunately so did I. Many bad decisions I had made over the last few years have my debts piled up way too high. Now being alone is even harder to get this sorted. Yes they say money doesn't buy you happiness and that money is the root of all evil but.......

I have tried to get another job over Xmas but just got an email that I was unsuccessful, which kind of makes me deflated and running out of options.

On top of that my body is in a whirlwind and not working as it should be, so maybe another job is not a good idea after all.

I know, I need a day or two to think things over, try to relax and maybe on Monday start with clear head. Who knows maybe Lotto will help over the weekend?

Right you can always dream about it and hope all of a sudden things will turn around for you.

For now a drum or two or three of the Scottish water of life should keep the mind of all things evil.

Holidays, Shmolidays.

New Year, they say, new you, they say. Hell if it only was that easy to turn the clock and wake up in new, better world. Well it isn't like that and you know it.  

Keep fighting they say, love yourself, don't ever give up. One minute you think you can face the world and do anything and the next you don't know what to do to make the pain go away. It kills you inside, the emptiness, lack of that feeling of another human being close by, someone who will listen to you complaining, crying and minute later hugging and kissing you and making everything better. If only Agent J from Men in Black could use his neuralizer on me and erase all the bad things.

Even better, get me a Delorean and send me back to 2006 or few years later, when everything seemed to be so good.

It's gonna be a fecking struggle to get back on my feet especially with me being so impatient and wanting everything to get better overnight.  Well it could get better overnight by winning the freakin lotto. Yeah I know the old saying, but....

Yes I want that freedom to find my happiness again, may it be alone or with someone right by my side. Get me some Vitamin H, get me the Happy pill or the iron supplement.

Enough moaning, go to bed and dream about the way things may be and will be. 

Last day of the year in Bo'ness.

Here we are, last day of the year is upon us. I decided to take advantage of relatively OK kind of weather and go for a walk in the morning to show you people a little piece of Bo'ness, a place I have been calling home for the last 2 and a half years. Started my walk at the Mining Wheel.

Bo'ness used to be a big coal mining community back in the days and the harbor used to be busy with boats transporting the coal up and down the Forth.

I haven't been on a walk along the coast for some time so I noticed there is a new tarmac path, made me think of getting a bicycle in spring to ride it along the Forth.

Nice brisk walk around in the morning makes you feel a bit better, even though the sun is shy today and staying behind clouds. But the Bo'ness Steam Railway never disappoints. For a tenner you can have a nice ride around the neighborhood (Bo'ness to Manuel and back) watching the world go by and crows watching you pass by.

An hour long walk brought me back near my new flat in the old part of the city. Scotlands Close it is. Old buildings, some parts spooky, but at the same time full of character.

Oh and don't forget the old cinema Hippodrome, where every year we have the Silent Cinema Festival with live music.

For now I am staying in my tower and waiting for the clock to strike midnight (weather permitting I might just go and see my kids to celebrate together)

That's all for now. A thumb up for the New Year.  All the best to you all. Come to lovely Bo'ness some time if you are driving by.

Love
M

Where do I begin?

2016 is coming to an end and what a year it has been.  Madness all around not only in the world but in my life as well. Just got diagnosed with diabetes (diet controlled, should be manageable) and separated from my wife after 10 years of being together. Yeah, crazy as hell, but that's life, sometimes it makes you happy to be alive and next before you know it turns everything "tits up".

But enough about things going wrong.  I decided to change my life and try something new, hence the blog.  Not really sure what and how often I will update it and with what, but the first step's been taken. Might concentrate on my hobby - photos and exploring places, might just write my thoughts here. We shall see what happens. For now the first post is here. Hopefully more to come, tomorrow Hogmanay (New Years Eve), will keep you posted on what's going on around me.  As Jon Bon Jovi once sang "Keep the Faith". See U later.